I was really thinking whether this idea would work or not. Skepticism was something that I had inherited. My father was skeptical about my career, my mother was skeptical about my future and my sister was skeptical about my food habits. There’s always a ‘maybe’ factor attached when it comes to something related to me. And this idea was something that had been hovering around my mind for the longest time.
Though it isn’t something too rare. People have tried walking that path and there have been successful ones. Let’s not get into the ones who failed. That’s a whole different perspective, I’d choose not to see. For me, as of now, there’s either success or giving up. So with that motivation, I begin to gather the basics. The information, the knowledge, all I needed to know. You see, to make a monument, an everlasting one with all it’s glory, you first need to gather the bricks and stones. What I wanted to do might not be monumental-ish, but would definitely clear paths for my monuments to stand.
You might be wondering what I’d wanted to do and it is really simple. I just wanted to commit a murder.
What? Were you expecting something cliched? That’s the thing about this world. You want to bring new people in the world, it’s all okay, even if they cause new kinds of troubles, take up space, exhaust resources, but you want to remove some ‘unwanted pests’ kind of people and everyone starts judging you.
My soul has been tormented for enough amount of time. I’ve decided to end my worries, once for all. Why does one want to live with the problems or either run away from it when you can kill. The stain of his blood and his cry for mercy will assuage my burning blood and calm my anxious nerves. I cannot tell you enough about my feeling of contentment.
Him, yeah. The one I want to kill is a him. I’m a ‘her’. It’s been years since his ‘peaceful’ ways have been torturing me from within. It’s been months since I’ve been trying to convince myself that I was the bad one to have reacted harshly to his mistakes. It’s been weeks since I’ve realized that he was a far more evil person than I had thought. I used to look at him and wonder how he always let go of my mistakes with a calm mind and a sympathetic smile on his face.
Enough of his ruling around the ways and enough of him overpowering me with his actions. With this murder, I will show him that I am greater than him in every aspect. I will show him that he cannot just ruin my life and go away with it. If he has dared to hurt me, he will have to face the consequences. I have gathered courage to nurture the new life after I am freed from his reign of terror. However, he will watch me take away everything that he has, including his life. And that’s the first thing I’m going to take away and he wouldn’t be alive to see the rest. Will he?
I sit down on my desk and start planning every event that will go on, step by step.
- Buy the tool, from at least 50 kilometers away from the locality.
- Sneak up on him and find out his schedule.
Schedule. This word sent my mind in a frenzy of depressive thoughts. Everything always had to be on his ‘schedule’. I remember one day when I could not make it in time to his lunch plans, he did not scold me, he did not shout. Rather he started ignoring me with a smile. “You gotta pay the price for your mistake, sweety”, he said. And then I had kept trying to apologize to him, trying to get him to talk to me, but he was already eating his lunch, with a video call going on with one of his female colleagues. It was like he had everything planned. He knew how to make me suffer. I sat there all day, not eating anything, watching him talk to her and then curling in a peaceful sleep.
The day of murder is nearing and a wave of nostalgia runs through my mind. I reconsidered the option of fleeing as my lover would readily agree to do it. A murder was something he horrified.
A day before the murder was actually planned, I began to foresee my future, without him and with him. Every possibility seemed dark and I began to lose motivation. That day I cried my heart out. I cried for all that I’ve been through and I cried for him- for his death, that was going to come. My face had grown pale and my mind weakened, until I saw him, his wry smile and his bizarre touch. I was sure of my intentions then. I wanted this man dead.
On the day of the murder, he walks up to me and has the same smile on his face. The evil one from within. He hugs me, “Hey! Long time. How have you been?”
That hug was enough to trigger me. In that one second, I remembered everything that led me to do this. I push him away and hold out the gun which was hidden underneath my pyjama.
“You are too delicate to handle this, darling!” he says, with an absolute horror on his face.
I smile and say, “I’m strong enough to bear you and the mistakes that you’ve committed. And now, you gotta pay the price for your mistake, sweety”.
I pull the trigger, he hurriedly kicks me in the abdomen and something dies inside me. We fall down in the pool of blood, not knowing who is killed. My baby or him?
Collaborated/co-authored with
Vatsal Thakore
Blog link: theinceptedpath.wordpress.com
Skies~Of~Sakshi 